What goes down during a man's bath...

I came across a meme a few days, which displayed the two versions - the woman's take and the man's - on what exactly goes down during a man's bath. According to women, men masturbate. According to men - now this was very epiphanic - men tend to contemplate about their lives. That, is true.

It usually begins with realizing that once entered, the bathroom is a very small place. Your thoughts will eventually run into you - there will be nothing else to think about when the warm water splashes on your head from the pail or the shower. You feel cornered.

Statistics start getting compiled in your brain. You start going through the events of the day gone by, analyzing every action, every reaction of all the characters who are now a part of your mind's 70mm documentary. Epiphanies find a place as footnotes - at times, like that Microsoft Clip character - serving as a portal, taking you back into the deepest levels of your casket of rich memories. Sometimes you cherish those moments, some times you wish you hadn't. Nonetheless, you realize you can't really control the reel and the movie goes on and on.

Within seconds, a huge wave of emotion is riding inside of you, multiplying with every ripple and undercurrent. A minute later, you're a happy homer, seeing the world through Mrry Poppins' eyeglass. Or you're pre-fame Kurt Cobain, burning and slashing every figment of social obligation and behavioural standards to suit your own ego and mind. Life is pretty much all about ebbs and surges for the next few minutes. Or hours.

Deflection then arrives in the form of work or any other activity which allows you to switch off that part of your brain. Atleast it lets you think so...... You know that it's there, rumbling like a bad gassy bowel movement. Your day goes on and other events find a place on your agenda. Some accounted for. Some out of sheer spontaneity. Your mind is programmed to finish off each task - deal with your load of work, by the assignment/ find a solution for your overtly chatty friend's problems/bare with the boss's shenanigans/try and not-embarass yourself in front of the pretty girl at work/ listen to parents rant about my general direction in life/put yourself in the protagonist's place while the TV sitcoms are on.

Before you realize it's morning again....the sleep has been banished to a land far away....your body is soiled. It's time for that bath again.